we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
