Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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