Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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