it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
