i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
