I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
