lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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