i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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