i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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