found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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