Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
