I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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