I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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