I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
