Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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