why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
