Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
