too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
