Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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