You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
