i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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