If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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