im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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