ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
