I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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