Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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