His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
