oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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