ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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