he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
