dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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