k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
