He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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