Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
