i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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