Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
