Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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