the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
