im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
