It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
