My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize