Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
