he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
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If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
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Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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