Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
4 words: hood of his car
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
