You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
