I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
