There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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