Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
