I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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