Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my being single is dangerous.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
