i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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