Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
