Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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