I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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