next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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