No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This gyro tastes like lonliness
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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