I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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