alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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