I need help removing her.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.