There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.