just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket