i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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