Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize