In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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