i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
