just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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