erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I smell stomach acid.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
