Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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