I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
