so let's talk penis.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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